Gaslighting is one of the most devastating tools that exists in the narcissist’s arsenal. If you have been subjected to gaslighting by a skilled narcissist, it is no doubt that you have suffered significant PTSD, Complex PTSD, Cassandra Syndrome, Battered Person Syndrome, and more. You were led to believe that you were damaged, crazy, psychotic, etc. You were led there by someone who was much sicker than you were.
Gaslighting is dangerous and devastating. Those who know about gaslighting and who have been subjected to it know all too well how damaging it is to one’s psyche. It is a form of psychological warfare and abuse that is used to torture prisoners of war and more. Narcissists learn gaslighting early on, as they are often subject to gaslighting by their own parents, peers, mentors, teachers, coaches, and more. Many children who are subjected to gaslighting have also undergone a significant amount of other means of abuse. A large number of adults were abused as children, physically, emotionally, and sexually. Most of them have never come forward to face their abuser, and thus they have never received any type of validation for the abuse that they suffered at the hands of another.
These abused children were gaslighted to believe that the abuse they were suffering was normal. They were told that the abuse shown to them was "love". Thus, they began to confuse "love" with abuse and confuse abuse with "love". They were told "tough love" was as valuable as unconditional love, when the two cannot even be used to describe the same types of actions or words.
Most of these adults harbor secrets long into their adulthood They suffer from wounds that have never been treated or discussed with a mental health advocate. They suffer in silence just as you might be suffering in silence with your current gaslighting experience. They were molested. They were bullied.
These abused and exploited children were told that all actions existed in the name of "love". Is it a wonder that they reject "love" in all forms as adults? Is it a wonder that they no longer know what the word love means, if they ever did at all? We give these adults a free pass, as though they suddenly might become compassionate and caring human beings now that they have been damaged by the adults around them.
However, we should never give a free pass to anyone who seeks to control us in the name of love, especially not these damaged adults. Control is not love. It never has been. It never will be. Control is control. Period.
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(Tags : Gaslighting: The Hive of the Narcissist: Transcend Mediocrity, Book 331 (Unabridged) J.B. Snow Audiobook, J.B. Snow Audio CD )